


say whatever you say

by glundergun (cleardishwashers)



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:43:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleardishwashers/pseuds/glundergun
Summary: project badass gone wrong
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	say whatever you say

Mac is a goddamn  _ idiot. _ Dennis has been saying for literal  _ decades _ (and that’s not at all nice to think about, no, but he’s so goddamn motherfucking  _ furious) _ that fucking Project Badass was gonna end badly one day, and apparently that day is today.

“Dude, it’s just a broken wrist,” Mac says, pleading. It might’ve worked, probably would’ve, if that was the whole story. It’s never the whole goddamn story with Mac, which is funny for a guy who lays all his emotions out on the table like they’re a winning hand at poker night. Emotions are always the shit hand, and Mac should fucking know that by now. Goddamn  _ idiot. _

_ “And _ two broken ribs,  _ and _ a goddamn concussion, and God knows what else!” Dennis snaps. “Goddamn doctors, can’t fucking be bothered to scan you properly— who the hell doesn’t do a PET when it’s asked for?”

“They did give me the CT and the MRI and the fMRI, though, Dennis, so it’s not—”

“You know, people die because they don’t get scans? What if they missed something, huh? You wanna deal with that? I sure as hell don’t, because then you’d be bitching and whining for the rest of your sorry life!” Dennis exclaims.

Mac stares at him, puppy-dog eyes in full effect. “C’mon, Den, I’m sure—”

“No! You don’t get to call me that, not after you fell off a goddamn roof! And how—”

Mac shifts, clearly not wanting to talk about how catastrophically he failed this time. “Dude—”

“N—  _ no, _ Mac. There will be no  _ dude _ and no  _ Den _ and no— whatever else gay shit you want to call me,” Dennis says, trying to avoid Mac’s eerily shrewd gaze— he doesn’t have the goddamn  _ right _ to be looking at Dennis like that, not when he does things like falling off roofs and crashing cars and a million other stupid, stupid things, “because you have forfeited that right! You—”

“Dennis, shut up,” Mac says.

It’s a gentle reprimand, and if you were judging based solely off Mac’s tone then it would seem like one of the terms of endearment that Dennis had just prohibited, but he’s still telling Dennis to  _ shut up _ and the world screeches to an abrupt halt, shrinks down to just him and Mac. “What?”

“You’re gettin’ all agitated, man,” Mac says, calmly, like  _ he’s _ the rational one here, “and that’s one of those things that your therapist said would make you more worse.”

“Don’t bring— why the fuck are we talking about— this isn’t about me!” Dennis says, his cheeks flushing bright pink, just the way he hates, just the way Mac says he likes. “This is about you and your inability to fucking—”

“Dude, seriously,” Mac says. “Shut up a minute.”

“I will  _ not—” _

“Den, just go with it, okay?” Mac says.

Dennis said for Mac not to call him that. Dennis has said a lot of things. 95 percent of which are bullshit.

He shuts up.

“What’re you really mad at?” Mac asks, and it’s uncomfortably similar to Dr. Brown’s questions, and all of Dennis’s ire comes flooding back.

“I’m mad at  _ you, _ fuckwad—”

“Dude, I said shut up.”

“How the goddamn Christ were you expecting me to answer, then?”

Mac’s eyebrows go up. “Oh. Good point.”

“Oh, goddamn, why the hell are you such a fucking dumbass?”

“Well, either way, I don’t think you’re actually mad at me.”

“Yes! I am!”

“Why?”

“Because you’re an  _ idiot _ who decided to fall off a  _ roof!” _

“Okay, well,  _ A, _ I didn’t  _ decide, _ and  _ two—” _

“Do you even  _ hear _ yourself? You fell off a roof, and now I have to stay in this goddamn room with you until you get released and pay for your hospital bills and take care of you when you get home!  _ You _ are just an enormous pain in my ass!” This is not making him feel better. Dr. Brown said that expressing his emotions would make him feel better, but apparently she’s a stupid bitch who doesn’t know her ass from her mouth.

“Charlie and Dee and Frank already left, and we scammed Frank into covering our insurance, like,  _ years _ ago,” Mac says.

Dennis shifts in his seat, his entire body thrumming like he’s touched a live wire. “I still have to take care of you when you get home. Because you have a concussion.” He doesn’t  _ want _ to do that.  _ Mac _ is who’s supposed to be doing that, doing the whole ‘caretaking’ bullshit, and he’s just passing his responsibilities to Dennis like he always does, because he’s a douchewad. How the hell does he know Dennis won’t fuck it up? He doesn’t, the goddamn cretin. Dennis  _ won’t _ fuck it up, of course. He can’t, he can’t, because Mac is too goddamn— he makes Dennis— there’s  _ emotions _ there, ones that Dennis can’t—

It was still stupid of Mac to assume.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading yall!


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